eats a red delicious

“DEATH TO AMERICA!!!..oh, nevermind. I see you’re doing it yourselfs. Carry on.” ~Some Al Quida guy probably.

Because trump survived.

You remember John Wilks Booth, and Lee Harvey Oswald. But nobody remembers the guy who shot reagan.

Hey!!! Whoa!!! That’s not fair at all!

…you forgot about that guy on the roof in PA who missed by inches.

Actually, print media is basically dead. It’s all about clickbait these days!!!

Click here to win a million billion dollars!!! Number 7 will shock you, and make you poop your pants, and spank your mother for being naughty!

HATEFUL AND DESTRUCTIVE??? HATEFUL AND DESTRUCTIVE??? FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!!

sets your car on fire

HOW COULD YOU CALL ME HATEFUL AND DESTRUCTIVE???

But I got you this burger king onion ring!

See, a skywriter is a guy who gets paid to write messages in the sky with a plane’s exaust. It’s not so much a thing anymore, but it used to be the type of thing you’d see in movies.

So this guy does that, on a beach, and proposes to his girlfriend. Meanwhile the other 4 couples can also see the message on account of how skies work. But those other 4 guys had no intention of proposing that day. So now they’re on a beach, their girlfriends are excited for something that isn’t coming, meanwhile the couple in yhe middle IS having a proposal.

Bowtie, but also, maybe add a vest and a cane?

Well…it’s hard to be SOME dogs. It’s not hard to be this dog.

I used to say that dogs lives are so awesome. Imagine everywhere you go everybody is just happy to see you. They don’t want money from you. They aren’t looking to use you, or take advantage of you. They just love you for you. And they’d love to come show you affection. Just for existing.

That’s what I used to say until someone told me “You’re thinking of the family pet dog. But you’re forgetting two things. Number one not all humans treat their family pet well. Some people abuse their dogs. And number two, you also forget the fact that not all dogs are family pets, or even have homes. Some are out in freezing cold and starving. Completely feral.”

And he was right. I DID forget those two things. THOSE dogs have a hard life.

But this guy? Nothing but love, naps and treats for this good boi.

That headline legit sounds like the plot for some kids book.

Quiet homegirl, and it’s not even close.

I’d be like “heh, I got us some baked potatos, and now lets get baked, and watch hulu.”

You see all these dating profiles lately? Girls want to fly to 70 different cities in their life, in 10 different countries.

To do what exactly? Walk around and say you existed in that space for a brief period in time?

I get the idea of going to a city because there’s something there you want to do. Like you want to go to disney world. Ok sure.

Las Vegas has an infinate number of things to do.

But what are you going to go to Paris to do? Oh, I got to see the eiffel tower! I’m so special! I saw a landmark thats existed for centuries, and offers no activity other than being able to say I was there!

Fuck that! Pay thousands of dollars, be on a plane for dozens of hours round trip, all just to see a landmark.

Here’s google maps bitch! It’s called street view!

No, I’d rather stay home on a quiet night, make some hot chocolate with marshmellows, and just enjoy each others personality.

Homegirl is my home girl!

Just think…in January of 2016 the idea of trump ever being president was an unfunny, but still described as laughable joke. Pretty sure in January there were like 37 different republicans running. Somehow out of all that, they went with trump of all people.

In January of 2016, it had been over a century since the chicago cubs ever won the world series…and it should have STAYED that way…

Well the years start coming and they don’t stop coming. Head to the ground you can hear your heart running!

…and now the lead singer of smash mouth is dead.

…so yeah, thats one of the new ones, right?

I still maintain that I absolutely know what I’m doing, and I’m awesome for it. It’s this world that says I’ll get diabetes, and other health issues if I do a handstand hovering over a display of upward pointed sharp knives, eating a bowl of doreoittos as a cereal with no milk.

What? You never heard of doreoittos? It’s when you twist open an oreo, so it’s now two halfs of an oreo. Then you put dorittos in the middle, and then reassemble the cookie.

Oh good. Just what LA needs. HIGHER rent…

Pretty sure at this point it’s more expensive to be homeless in California, than to have a mansion in Ohio.

I kid, I kid…but only because we both know Ohio doesn’t have mansions.

…welp.

You know that feeling when you feel like the smartest person for coming up with a great idea, and you feel like it’s SOOOOO obvious that you’re like "How is this not a thing???

And then it’s been a thing for years.

Yeah, totally don’t know anything about that. If anybody needs me, I’ll just be over here wallowing in my own mediocrity.

See, this is why I was saying that the fediverse needs a centralized hub of organization. It would be like a wiki meets the white pages. Although I’m unclear if that concept is so outdated that it doesn’t track anymore.

But basically you think “hey, I wonder if there a such-n-such in the fediverse…”

So you go to thefediverse.com, and in addition to being an explaination of what the fediverse is, and does, it also serves as a wiki based directory for all services within the fediverse. With the appropriate links.

Now, me personally, I have no idea what podchaser is. I assume a podcast service of some sort. But if we had this gateway site, you’d just go there, and find (hypothetical example) fedipodchaser. Or whatever the real one would be called.

And in it’s wiki would say “Fedipodchaser is a podcast service similiar to podchaser”. And because it’s wiki says podchaser in the descriptiom, it allows you to easily find it in a search. So without having to ask anybody if it exists, you find out in one step.

So to answer your innitial question…I don’t know.

Here’s the thing though…being an asshole doesn’t affect pets. Pets have no concepts of rent, or money, or social class. Hell, even HITLER had a cat and a dog. I’m sure that dog loved hitler. And you can’t blame the dog. The dog has no idea that the person he lives with signed paperwork to establish concentration camps.

The dog just knows he comes home, gives him treats, and then he, the dog, and ava braun all lay down by the fireplace, and watch netflix.

And so these dogs today, they’re just the same. Living with assholes, and clueless. Just as it always has been.

What’s this? The consequences of my lifestyle choices and actions??? But I was assured the lepards wouldn’t eat MY face!!! I’m one of the lepards!!!