this is a vibe, lol

I would probably match it with a light pink or light tan tank top and then a very colorful and flowy floral or tropical wrap, oh and I have some pink Birks that would go well with this, too.

I buy a lot of my clothes from Pact, esp. undies and bras - I like that most of their stuff is cotton and they are so eco-focused. Not sure it’s strictly brand loyalty, but in practice I don’t buy those things elsewhere.

having a public block list would be great, tbh - ublock origin does something similar with maintained filter lists, for example

I was wondering what places are better - Tumblr maybe? Reddit and Lemmy seem both similarly male dominated, and I agree with JohnnyFlapHoleSeed that internet communities in general are male dominated and not friendly to women …

I support moving to Blahaj as well ✅

Pros:

• only upvotes (no more harassment through downvotes)
• Ada has already banned lots of bad actors from the instance, so moderation will be easier
• Blahaj’s community and instance is already women friendly

Cons:

• there is probably some work to move another instance (I’m not sure what that would take - or if we would just shutter the lazysoci.al community and start a new one on Blahaj?)
• Ada’s rules can be pretty strict, which means we might lose some control over moderation decisions and discretion; you could view this as a pro or con, part of the reason Blahaj is so welcoming and such a good option is because of Ada’s strictness - I only bring it up because of the 196 drama that happened recently where the mods of that community felt they didn’t align fully with Ada’s approach - so that’s just something to get clear on, what are the expectations, and are we comfortable with those expectations
• Blahaj defederates from some instances and likewise some instances have defederated from Blahaj, so that might impact our users a little bit (again, this could be a pro depending on how you feel about the instances that are defederated from one another; I suspect Hexbear users who like this community would be upset if we moved to Blahaj, because Hexbear defederated from Blahaj).

yeah, unfortunately that’s true these days; if a trans person uses the term “transsexual” I assume the person is probably a gatekeeping asshole, but it’s a huge red flag coming from a cis person - same with terms like hermaphrodite and transvestite.

honestly, anytime someone is wearing a cross or mentions they are Christian or religious, I assume they are unsafe and likely have some kind of bigoted views. To be fair, I think most people are bigoted to some extent, we can hardly escape the acculturation that comes from growing up and living in a society that has heteronormativity baked into it.

I know for sure that not all Christians or religious folks are anti-LGBT+, but where I live it’s fairly predictive that if someone is religious they’re also more likely to be conservative and have reactionary views on topics like science (e.g. more likely to be creationists, anti-vaxxers, etc.), gay rights, trans rights, etc.

adding to #1, using the term “transgenderism”

thanks for your comment, but unfortunately this community has a rule that only women are permitted to comment. Hope you understand 💙

no worries - that’s very common, and thanks for your understanding 💕

thanks for your comment, but unfortunately this community has a rule that only women are permitted to comment, hope you understand 💛

/thread

No need to be sorry about that, nobody expects you to advertise that information, lol

And sorry for the mistake - your comment has been restored.

honestly sounds similar to the way the Christian right responds to something like the gay rights movement - every advancement of gay rights is perceived as an infringement on their religious freedom somehow.

is there a way to de-paywall 404media.co?

Thank you for your contribution, but unfortunately this community has a rule that only women are permitted to comment. Hope you understand! 💙

I get that, I feel the same way and I do think it’s worth considering how our actions as individuals intersect with the social and structural.

Also, I don’t think it’s that terrible to try to go against the grain of society to be a good person, but I think sometimes we just use things like this to beat ourselves up even though it’s not that big of a deal …

Like, when I first transitioned, I had so much cognitive dissonance about using makeup to feminize - I felt like I was betraying my feminist values. Now I realize I was just being femmephobic, not feminist.

The idea that you feel good when a man is attracted to you is not some great sin against feminism, it’s normal sexual behavior. Sure, some women don’t stand up for themselves and get so sucked into pleasing men that they undermine other women and play into sexist dynamics, but we also live in patriarchy and the focus should not be on blaming the victims of this system for its predictable outcomes …

All this to say, I don’t think you should feel like a bad feminist for loving a man (or for loving the way it feels when a man loves you). I like wearing makeup and I’m still learning to not feel guilty about being feminine - certainly these things are compatible with thinking women and men deserve equal rights.

tbh I’m not sure a social critique or movement like feminism makes sense to apply to individuals - it helps us understand the dynamics, but it’s not like one person can somehow overcome those dynamics all by themselves … what I’m saying is, you go girl ✨ 💅 😄

that is amazing, congrats!! 🥳 🙌 💕